What would you do if you suddenly found yourself with a Russian femme fatale with brunette hair, a winning smile and a brain the size of a computer? And if you had more than a passing interest in her? In my case, three hours ago, I suddenly decided to interview her. For some people, I may have had my priorities wrong.

JH Nadia, are you ready?

NB For what?

JH For the interview.

NB What interview?

JH The one that I’m posting this evening.

NB The new site, yes? Why do you want to interview me?

JH To get your opinion on various things.

She looks at me askance but then agrees. As she awaits the first question, I realize how ill-prepared I am. As I can’t think of anything else, I open with:

JH Tell me a little about your childhood, your teenage, for example.

NB I didn’t have a particularly happy childhood –’

JH So later then – at what point did you feel you became happier?

NB When I began to depend on myself.

JH Became more independent?

NB No, depend on myself, rely on myself far more.

JH No woman can be an island.

NB Eto plokho [that’s bad]. Of course we can’t be islands but we can still make our own way.

JH Your higher education?

NB As you know, I graduated from the Pedagogical University in Eastern Languages and in English.

JH But apart from that, what would you say your main forte was, your main strength?

She gives this some thought and then replies:

NB Communicating with people, I suppose. I enjoy people very much.

JH Are you planning to stay here or would you prefer to live in, say, Moscow?

NB No, Moscow is far too big. A city under one million is ideal for me.

JH Overseas?

NB That’s such a difficult one. When I’m here, I want to be overseas and when I’m overseas, I yearn for home.

JH What are your dreams – what do you hope to achieve?

NB Self-actualization, self-fulfilment.

JH Care to be more specific?

NB I’d like to work as a representative for a foreign company. Better work conditions, more responsive to the individual, greater opportunities.

JH So you wouldn’t live overseas?

NB I feel westerners look down on Russian people, especially girls and I don’t want to feel that I can’t get to their level, in their eyes, I mean.

JH Even though you are on their level?

NB Well no, we’re not. The Russians are guilty in this – they go over there, being made to feel inferior, and they go along with this and especially the girls accept any sort of work, no matter how demeaning, because they believe they are no better. They’re constantly lowering the price on themselves.

JH When there is no need to feel inferior in the first place?

NB Right. This is what I hear every day – it’s better over there, it’s better over there.

JH The grass is greener on the other side?

NB Exactly. And it’s wrong. Anyway, that’s just my opinion.

We go into the side room and are joined by another girl, quite shy but with a winning smile, knowing English but too scared to practise it; so I practise her language instead. We sip tea, nibble on raisins and dried fruits and the conversation continues:

JH We’ve just looked at some negative aspects. What about the good things?

NB I think it’s true we’re open and warm hearted – foreigners say we are – and the country itself is big, so vast that we’re just one small part of it. Nature is very beautiful here and most Russians love being in it.

[She means being outside the city in the forest or by the river.] She continues:

NB We have enormous natural resources as well and this gives us a better living than we had before.

JH Before I ask you about wider world issues, may I ask you if you think Russian girls care too much about their appearance? My experience is that if you’re going out with a western girl, she’ll put in a good thirty minutes in the bathroom but the Russian girl will spend hours in there and not emerge until everything is perfect.

NB There’s so much competition – we have to look our absolute best at all times.

JH Because the country is 58% female?

NB Nu, da. Too many women, too few men.

JH Are the women all beautiful?

NB This is a big country. There are many women. There’s an old Russian saying that when a man’s drunk, there are no ugly women.

They both grin. Nadia goes out to speak on the phone and the conversation with the shy one is desultory at first but as my confidence in her language grows, we get onto some interesting topics. Then she has to go, herself, and I finish my tea, watch my interviewee return and marvel at her poise.

NB So.

JH So. Let’s move onto wider issues of the world – the business in the Middle-East for instance. Do you have an opinion?

Her face clouds over, her brow furrows and she goes quiet. Eventually she answers:

NB There are only a few actually fighting but there is a huge percentage just sitting back, watching, when something could be done. The authorities can do something, if they wish. It’s in their power to do something to solve this thing but they just sit back and do nothing. Everyone just sits back and does nothing.

JH What exactly could they do?

NB Isolate them.

JH Israel?

NB No, both of them – the Levant and Israel – cut them off and make them sort it out themselves.

JH How?

NB One way is to cut off all aid to both sides – completely. Weapons, food, supplies, everything. But you didn’t answer my original question.

Taken aback by the abrupt change of tack, I ask her to explain:

NB My original question – why do you need this interview with me? Are you trying to find me a husband?

I look as scathingly as I can and try to think of some smart-alek reply but can’t and so I tell her:

JH This website, it’s called a blog.

NB A forum?

JH I’d like it to be a forum but no one makes comments. No, it’s just the putting down of ideas online and hoping they’re interesting to people.

NB Which people?

JH About half from Britain, about a third from America and the rest from different places – Spain, France, Lithuania and so on. I even got Singapore and India.

NB And from over here?

JH So far, no one seems interested. Here’s my web address. May I ask you a question now – how many people out there have actually read an interview with a Russian girl? I don’t mean a Kournakova or Sharapova.

NB They’re not typical of us.

JH Precisely.

NB Ah, I see. Interview with a typical Russian girl in her workplace, da?

JH Sort of. I’m just wondering how much Lori Davis, in Tucson, Arizona, who may have an internet connection, could ever get to see an interview with a real Russian girl.

She breaks into a smile at this point.

NB Do you think she’d want to?

JH I’d hope so.

NB More tea?

JH Thanks, no. Let me ask one last one – not very original but I like hearing answers to it.

NB Da.

JH If you could give a final message this evening, when I type this thing up and publish it later, what would it be?

NB That’s simple – too live peacefully with each other. To try to understand one another.

JH Nadia, thanks a lot - don’t forget to send your photo to my e-mail.

NB I don’t like any photos of me.

JH But we need one for the article. Will you do it?

NB Nu, ladno. Poka’.

So I go home to my dormitory suburb and get down to the business of writing this thing up. Halfway along, her photo arrives and I choose the one called ‘Ya capitan' [I’m the captain].