Part 1 of this article was run on Thursday, August 10th, comprising a paraphrasing of the first 5 of Dr. Phillip McGraw’s 10 life laws. This is the second part:

Lifelaw 6 - There is no reality, only perception.

We all view the world through individual filters - our personalities, attitudes, points of view - which influence our interpretation of events.

There's no doubt that these filters are largely the result of childhood learning. Once we acknowledge this, we can choose to no longer be a prisoner of those perceptions.

People who say, “These are the facts” or “This is the truth” are speaking from their own perspective. Other perspectives do exist and trying to understand these other perspectives is the first step towards reason and maturity.

A student who can see the teacher’s point of view, a boss who can see the worker’s point of view, a man who can see the woman’s point of view – these people succeed in the end.

Lifelaw 7 - Life can be managed but never cured.

Never in our life will we be without problems and challenges. If everything is working well in one area, there's likely to be turmoil in another area.

Not every problem needs to be a crisis; it could just be another challenge for us and if we can overcome it, we simply add to our experience and expand as a person.

Will money solve most of our problems or will it just create new ones? Will finding a good partner satisfy us or will it just create new needs in us?

If we think about our life as a business, with us as the manager, then life can be managed.

· Firstly, become a person who accepts responsibility, rather than avoids it.

· Secondly, decide to resolve, rather than endure, personal problems but realize that this is never final – that there will always be new ones.

· Thirdly, don’t ask unanswerable questions such as ‘What if?’

· Fourthly, refuse to live with unfinished emotional business – come to terms with the reality of where we now are.

· Finally, always honour agreements, whether they are with ourselves or with other people.

Lifelaw 8 - We teach people how to treat us, through our reactions.

Whether we like it or not, people treat us as they do because we have unconsciously, by our reactions, taught them which types of behaviour get results and which don't.

If they get what they want, then they keep that behaviour in their repertoire; if they don’t get it, they drop that behaviour and start a new one.

The good news is that we can re-teach people how to treat us by changing our reactions to them.

Lifelaw 9 - There is power in forgiveness.

If someone hurts us, either that person never knows he’s hurt us or else he just goes away and leaves us to suffer.

Where once we were going along happily, now someone has made us angry, depressed and seeking revenge. This then makes us bitter.

Does this person pay for his crime against us? No way. Do we pay for his crime? Yes, every time, through loss of balance, loss of mood and loss of health. In the end, he wins and we lose.

Only we should choose how we feel. Forgiveness is the way to say:

"Nobody is going to hurt me and control my feelings, even in his absence. I make the choice whether to be hurt or not. In the end, he is the unfortunate one, not me."

By rethinking the meaning of forgiveness, we can become emotionally freer, calmer and generally a more pleasant person. Power over oneself is the key to a calmer, more balanced life.

Lifelaw 10 - We have to name it to claim it.

If we cannot name exactly what we want, we will never get it. We live in a world where the most we will get is what we have asked for:

· Be bold yet realistic about goals and don't be shy about admitting that there are some special things we want.

· By the way, which do we like more - the result itself or the process of getting it?

This article was a rewriting of parts of Phillip C. McGraw, Ph.D.: Life Strategies - Doing What Works, Doing What Matters, published by Random House, 1999.