This article is not set in Britain but it might as well be. As you read, do you see any similarities with our situation? I'm reprinting it in its entirety, complete with public comments at the end, some as entertaining as the article itself:By Jim Schembri, May 13, 2005

For years I've been quietly fuming about the inefficiencies of our wretched, run-down, asinine public transport ticketing system, which is officially known as MetCard.I first met Ernie on Platform 7 at Flinders Street Station at 6:09:44pm. I remember noting the time exactly from the platform clock because I wanted to know for the rest of my life the very moment I connected with somebody who was every bit as frustrated with our wretched, run-down, asinine public transport ticketing system as I was.

My initial sighting of Ernie occurred a few minutes earlier, when I saw him in a very heated exchange with one of those ticket checkers whose main purpose in life is to lean on the turnstiles while idly watching teenage boys leaping over the barriers without a ticket and walking off without any fear of pursuit or fine.I stopped to watch, just in case Ernie was a loony.

I now state this clearly - Ernie was not a loony. He was just plain angry.And this wasn't fly-off-the-handle angry. This was focused, laser-guided angry. The controlled tone of his voice was of a reasonable man who had been pushed to that point of sheer exasperation which only the inefficiencies of our wretched, run-down, asinine public transport ticketing system can push you.

Here's the story.

All Ernie wants to do is buy a ticket so that he can go to his parents' place for Sunday dinner. He doesn't want a special magic ticket that will get him free access to Luna Park or to the f-ing zoo for a year. He just wants one of those two-hour zone one tickets that are good for 10 uses. That’s all.He first goes to the ticket counter, but they can't sell him anything because their machine is broken. They tell him to use the machine at the turnstiles.

So Ernie goes to the machine, but the machine isn't taking notes. His only option is to use change.But Ernie doesn't have any change. Of course he doesn't have change. Who the hell would have change these days? These tickets cost $25.90. Anybody carrying that amount of change wouldn't be able to walk.

His frustration rising, Ernie confronts the guy at the barrier, then returns to the ticket counter and tells them that the machine isn't working. So the ticket seller tells Ernie - God, I love this bit - to kindly walk down to the ticket machine 50 metres away and try his luck there.Ernie explodes.He refuses to go in hunt of this mythical machine. He tells the ticket seller that it isn't his job to go compensate for the inefficiencies of our wretched, run-down, asinine public transport ticketing system.

So what does Ernie do then? He does what any reasonable person would do - what I myself have done more times than I dare count: he goes through the barrier without a ticket.At that point, Ernie became my hero.The irony is, three years ago, Ernie got rid of his car. He wanted to support his state and do the right thing and commute by bike, foot and public transport. But after this encounter, he's thinking of going car again.

The public comments on the story:

What public transport system? I thought the government sold it ages ago. The only thing public about it is the money we pay for it.Jason AIt's all gone to hell. Has been so for quite a while. If Victorians really care about the ticketing issue, then push it to become an electoral issue. Better still, push for the whole public transport matter to become an election issue. Just get the hell off your collective backsides and do something about it.

Ben S

I live in Canberra but spend a bit of time in Melbourne and the main difference between the public transport systems that always strikes me is Ticket Inspectors- In Melbourne, PT inspectors look like suited bouncers and behave like them. In Canberra, Ticket Inspectors wear inoffensive pale yellow shirts and knitted grey V-neck jumpers and are pleasant.ReezI moved to the CBD so I would never have to use public transport in Melbourne again.

I purchased a ticket from the on-board machine and it issued me with a "blank" ticket. When I arrived at my destination, I phoned the helpline www.yarratrams.com.au and told the operator of my situation. It took her awhile to understand what I meant but in the end she advised I would need to buy another ticket. I had purchased a daily ticket and didn't understand why I would have to pay for their inadequacy.

She said she would need to transfer me.I was transfered to 3 other representatives before ending back with the original girl. She then told me that I could write a letter and include the ticket and an "investigation" would be conducted. I was furious at this point and asked to speak to her supervisor. She told me they don't have supervisors. Eventually she relented and transferred me to her manager.

Now I myself work in customer service so I was being as polite as possible as I know how demoralising a rude customer can be. But she was extremely unhelpful and didn't know what she was talking about.Back to her manager. Half way through my explanation I heard a baby cry. Turns out he was at home and speaking to me from his mobile. I was shocked!

After an hour of talking on the phone and the loss of some hair, I gave up and just decided to buy another ticket. Everyone I spoke to told me that if I used my blank ticket I would be fined - despite it being a valid ticket, just without the writing!The manager asked me for information like: The tram model, the name of the driver, the serial number on the ticket machine.

Was he serious? Hands up all those passengers that take note of all these things when they catch a tram?The entire systems needs to be overhauled. People say how apathetic Australians are. How about we send a message? Lets declare a day where no one buys a ticket!! Let’s see the arrogant bstds handle the stress then.I could go on forever - rude inspectors, crazy drivers that shut the doors with people jammed in the door, packed like sardines.ENOUGH IS ENOUGH!!!!!!

Tram no more

Sorry people, but the death of public transport came when the previous regime decided to privatise the whole thing. Since then we have seen what an absolute joke this decision was. On this issue I advise you to read a book by Christian Wolmar called 'Broken Rails - How Privatisation Wrecked Britain's Railways'.You will see how we sold our system to the very same companies who wrecked Britain!Can’t the government get it through their heads - public transport CANNOT make a profit!!!

It is not what it is there for. It is there to move the people.MozzaSorry to tell this story... but I was working late on a Tuesday night and had to catch a train from the city at about 10:30pmI was the only person on the carriage apart from two boys who were knifing the seats and sniffing glue WHILE the inspector watched on. When I went to sit down, I almost sat in human excrement!

When I mentioned it to the surly inspector he told me to find another seat then and under his breath used foul language which the boys heard and laughed at.Melbourne transport - never again.Veronica CI lived in Melbourne for 20 years and have lived in Sydney for 3. People in Melbourne still have it sweet compared to Sydney, I can say that for certain. It's beyond a joke up here in Sydney. Sydney’s one big joke.

Cassa

Last Monday. Carnegie Station. 5 degrees outside. I arrive at 8:13am to get the 8:22am to the city. Two cancelled trains later, a train finally comes. It’s too full to even find a-place to stand. I get on a train at 9:19am, already 19 minutes late for work.But that's all OK, isn’t it, because Connex apologises for any inconvenience caused.

Joseph R